I met the cutest boy!!! I was at the reproductive endocrinologist's office for my first appointment and he introduced himself and he was all like "Hello, I'm your new doctor" and I was all like, whoa, he's wicked cute! And the whole time he was talking to me about chromosomal abnormalities and embryonic development and stuff, all I could do was stare at his eyes! I wonder if he has a girlfriend??
So it looks like another miscarriage for me, which is a total bummer and I was like freaking out, but the good thing is that he's really sad too!!! And when he told me that the baby was dead he TOUCHED MY HAND!!! And he was all like "Well, even though it karotyped as chromosomally normal, there could still have been a genetic problem," and I was all like, that is SO TRUE, and then our eyes locked and everything, just like when Rose looked at Jack in Titanic! Except that Rose would have had four miscarriages and everything. So it's not exactly the same, but it's close.
So my bitch of a fallopian tube totally broke off our friendship! Yesterday everything was fine, we were talking about the Backstreet Boys and everything and she was all like, "Nick Carter is totally the soul of that band," and I was all like, "Um, hello, earth to fallopian tube, he's cute and everything but A.J. McLean is so obviously the genius behind the music," and she got all pissed and everything and she was all like, "You're so bossy, you can't tell me what to think" and I was all like, excuuuse me, SOR-RY for owning the brain that controls the LH that tells the ovary to release the egg that travels inside you and justifies your total existence, and then she flipped out and folded over on herself and cut off her blood supply and swelled up like Anna Nicole Smith after a Snickers binge and I had to be rushed to the hospital and have emergency surgery and when I woke up, they were all like, "We're sorry, but you lost your right fallopian tube." But you know what? I'm totally better off, because she wasn't a true friend anyway and she doesn't have a very good reputation and I really don't want to be exposed to that, because I am not a hoochie and I feel sorry for her that she is.
OhmyGod ohmyGod ohmyGod, HE WANTS TO TAKE OUT MY FIBROID!!!!!!!!!
So I'm doing IVF and everything and he called me and he was all like "We can't do PGD because of a scheduling problem" and I was all like "okay" and he was all like "Let's skip PGD this time and just try to get you pregnant." What do you think he meant by that???
It's over. He called me and he was all like "I'm not calling with good news" and I burst into a million tears and he was all like "I'm sorry" and I was all like "Why?" but he said there are no answers. He told me that my beta was just too negative for him and I promised I'd change, I begged him to give me one more chance, but that's it and now there's no reason to go on. How am I going to face everyone at the clinic tomorrow???
He called me!!! And he wants to talk about getting
back together!!! I can't even believe it! He was all like "Let's
talk about another fresh cycle" and I was all like yesssss, and he
was all like "four plus four" and "Repronex" and
other stuff I can't remember because my heart was pounding so hard and I
was like shaking with excitement! Diary, this is it, I can tell! This
time, I'll make my beta be more positive so that he loves me forever!
Just like Jack and Rose in Titanic! Except that Rose would have
been a habitual aborter and Jack would have been a reproductive
endocrinologist and there would have been no boat or iceberg or
anything. But it's still totally the same!